Let’s face it – handjobs get a bit of a bad rep. They’re often seen as something you grow out of or settle for. But when done right, a handjob can be incredibly intimate, playful and downright explosive. It’s all in the hands – and the know-how.
In this guide, you’ll find everything from the basics to different techniques, sexy positions, and expert tips that will undoubtedly improve your handjob game. We’ll answer the most common questions too – like whether it counts as sex, and if there’s any risk of STDs (spoiler: rare, but not impossible).
And of course, you’ll find some irresistible recommendations to level up your stroking skills.
What Is a Handjob?
Before we get into the various techniques, positions and do’s and don’t, it’s important to clarify the meaning of the term itself. A handjob is when you use your hand to stimulate your own or someone else’s penis to provide pleasure - and often, orgasm. It’s simple in theory, but there’s an art to doing it well.
You might have also heard of different types of handjobs, such as nursing handjobs. It’s a term borrowed from the kink community, describing a slow, nurturing handjob often done while cradling the receiver. If that’s your vibe, it's worth exploring.
Now, is a handjob sex? Technically, yes – it’s a form of non-penetrative sexual activity. Just because there’s no penetration doesn’t mean it’s not sexual. It's as intimate and erotic as you make it.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Handjobs
Why They’re Brilliant
Handjobs are perfect for when you want to:
Explore each other’s bodies without full nudity.
Warm up before penetrative sex or oral.
Keep your clothes (or lingerie) on for a teasing session.
Take control in a playful or dominant way.
They also allow you to maintain eye contact, whisper naughty things, or experiment with toys and lube in a completely accessible way.
What You Should Watch Out For
The biggest mistake? Going in dry. No one enjoys a dry tug. Lube is your best friend – it reduces friction, feels amazing, and shows you’ve thought it through.
Also, be aware of pressure and rhythm. Everyone’s preferences are different, so don’t expect one size to fit all. Be curious, not cocky.
And on the safety front: can you get an STD from a handjob? It’s very unlikely, but technically possible, especially if there are cuts or sores involved. If you’re concerned, pop on a glove – or just have a quick chat with your partner.
How to Give a Handjob for the First Time
Nervous? Don’t worry – it’s one of the most forgiving sexual acts to try. And the more you do it, the better you’ll get.
Start by setting the mood. You don’t need candles and rose petals (though if that’s your thing, go for it), but you do want a bit of comfort and privacy.
Make sure your hands are clean, your nails are trimmed, and you’ve got lube within reach. Warming it in your hand before applying adds a lovely, personal touch.
When you’re ready to start, rest your hand gently on the base of the penis. You’re not yanking it - you’re saying hello. Let your hand glide slowly upwards, feeling the skin, the veins, the heat.
Use your other hand to stroke the shaft, cradle the balls, or tease the inner thighs.
Products That Will Take Your Handjob Skills Up a Notch
Want to spice up your handjob sessions? Then you might want to consider implementing some of these handjob toys and accessories:
1. Lubricants – Your Must-Have MVP
Without lube, you’re missing half the fun. A good lubricant keeps things smooth, sensual, and friction-free.
For beginners:Pjur Aqua Water-Based Lube – Gentle, safe with toys, and super silky. Ideal for a first-time experience.
For experienced users:baseks Warming Gel – Adds a delicious heat that heightens every stroke and tease.
2. Textured Sleeves – Handjob with a Twist
Masturbation eggs or sleeves give your hands a break while still delivering mind-blowing pleasure.
For beginners:Tenga Egg Wavy II – Super soft, easy to use, and disposable. A fuss-free introduction to textured play.
For experienced users:Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage – Reusable, compact, and open-ended for mutual fun and deeper sensations.
3. Toys That Pair with Hands – Boost Your Repertoire
Use a stroker on the shaft while stimulating the head with your hand – or vice versa. You don’t need to go full-tech to get serious pleasure.
