No two people have sex the exact same way – and gay sex is no exception.
It can be slow, intense, playful… sometimes all of it at once. That’s part of what makes it so exciting.
If you’re new to it, curious, or just looking for new gay sex positions to try, this guide is a great place to start.
And if you want a broader understanding of identities, attraction, and intimacy, you can always start with our LGBTQ+ guide.
If you’re exploring positions that involve penetration, a bit of preparation can make a big difference.
Taking your time, starting slow, and using plenty of anal lube helps everything feel smoother and more comfortable. And of course, condoms are always a good idea when it comes to safer anal sex. Communication matters too – checking in with each other as you go makes the experience better for both of you.
Some people also choose to include an anal douche as part of their prep. It’s not something you have to do, but many find it helps them feel more relaxed and confident. If you’re curious about how it works, you can read our full guide to anal douching.
There are countless gay sex positions out there, and no guide can cover them all. But if you’re looking for inspiration, these are some of the best gay sex positions to start with.
Simple, but far from boring.
The missionary gay sex position is great for beginners and anyone who wants more eye contact and connection. One partner lies on their back while the other is on top, making it easier to control pace and depth.
Tip: Placing a sex pillow under the hips can improve the angle and make things more comfortable.
A favourite for a reason.
Here, one partner is on top, controlling movement, speed, and depth. It’s often recommended as one of the best positions for first-time gay sex, since it allows the receiving partner to set the pace.
Tip: Start slow and find a rhythm that feels natural – there’s no rush.
More intense and a bit more advanced.
Doggy style is one of the most well-known gay anal sex positions. One partner is on all fours while the other enters from behind, allowing for deeper penetration and a stronger rhythm.
Tip: Angles matter here – small adjustments can make a big difference in comfort.
Soft, slow, and intimate.
Both partners lie on their side, making this position feel less intense while still allowing for close contact and steady movement. Perfect if you want something slower and more connected.
Tip: This is perfect for longer sessions where comfort really matters.
Spontaneous and a bit more adventurous.
Both partners are standing, with one entering from behind. This position works well in tighter spaces and adds a different kind of energy compared to bed-based positions.
Tip: Use a wall or surface for support to make it more stable and comfortable.
Not everything has to revolve around penetration.
69 is a classic for a reason. Both partners give and receive at the same time, creating a shared and playful experience.
Tip: If it feels like too much at once, slow it down or take turns.
Sex toys can add a new dimension to what you’re already exploring.
Whether it’s enhancing stimulation, adding something new, or helping you ease into certain positions, sex toys can make a noticeable difference without changing the dynamic completely.
If you’re curious, you can explore more in our guide to sex toys for LGBTQ+.
Got questions? Here are some of the most frequently asked questions about gay sex positions:
Sex positions like cowboy and missionary are often the easiest to start with. They allow greater control over pace and depth, making the experience feel more comfortable.
Positions like doggy style or variations of missionary with raised legs can allow for deeper penetration, depending on angle and comfort.
Yes – especially for anal play. Using plenty of anal lube makes everything smoother, more comfortable, and more enjoyable.
Not at all. Oral sex, mutual touch, and other non-penetrative options are just as much a part of the experience.
It comes down to communication and experimentation. What feels great for one person might not work for another – and that’s completely normal.
